Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number (And a Host of Socially-Agreed Upon Conventions)

One large difference between cultures is the definition of stages of the life cycle. While in one context adolescence might extend until age 18, it may not be unusual to see 15 year olds with jobs and families. The very markers we use to define age classes also differ: what roles do academic achievement, independent living, childbearing, working full-time play in determining who is and who isn’t an adult? And how has the recent global recession changed the significance of these markers? If someone holds a full-time job and pays rent to his/her parents for a room in the family home, is s/he “self-sufficient”?

Much of this reflection was spurred after I had read this article from Newsweek while waiting for my physical therapy appointment. Clients at HomeTown physical therapy practice run the gamut from chatty octogenarians (J rides the bicycle next to me and compares progress and thoughts about the weather) to stoic jeunes from the local high schools in for sport injuries. During a recent appointment, I needed to do some exercises in the common room rather than in one of the intime (cozy) examination rooms. Suddenly, I was in view and within earshot of eight other patients and their therapists. Conversations regarding dog breeds, newly released films and best restaurants for a cheap date combined to form a cacophonie chaotique.

Though I’ve been out of college for awhile, I’m still used to being in age-segregated spaces. The majority of my fellow stagiaires in Host Country are between the ages of 23 and 26, with a few wonderful outliers. Last year in France, I lived with other twentysomethings in a dorm-type situation. At work, however, I interacted with two age diverse groups. As I’d expected, the faculty ranged in age from 23 to 60 but the more striking gamme was that of the students’ ages. Within one class, I worked with 14 year olds to 24 year olds and every age in between. Part of this is symptomatic of high rates of redoubler (repeating a year) at my particular établissement and in France in general. Redoublants can also be found in Host Country, the USA and many other countries, especially those that have strict promotion requirements and exams between primary, lower secondary and upper secondary schools.

From my observations, adolescence seemed to be the most variable state in Host Country life. The peoples of Host Country, like many around the world, believe that elders should be revered, due in part to their acquired wisdom. Children were given fewer responsibilities and accordingly fewer privileges. Adolescence, cependant, lasted five years for some people and ten for others. Some grew up faster due to external circumstances, such as the loss of a family member. Others, however, made conscious choices about how long they stayed in school, when they started asking for more adult clothing, when they became romantically involved.

Many of my working friends have independently arrived at the same conclusion: “adulthood” encompasses far more ages and stages than “childhood” or “adolescence.” This is not to suggest that the latter two phases are less important (or fraught with less drama!), but rather to make sense of the sudden shift from being surrounded primarily by age peers to making friends at different stages of life. There are many positive aspects to this change: opportunities for less formalized mentorship than could be found in an academic setting, less angst as everyone approaches the same transition phases. On the other hand, it can be hard as a freshly minted graduate to search for age peers, especially if most of your colleagues are 4+ years older and in different romantic/familial situations than yourself. Of course, this assumes that “you” were a traditional undergraduate who was not working more than 15+ hours per week, was not supporting a family and was 18-23 at the time.

While I had fun in college (thanks especially to R, K and P), life after graduation is wonderful as well. Thankfully most of my friends have found their way into medical/law/graduate schools which are good fits or have managed to find a job vaguely related to one or more of their interests. My parents aren’t the most *ahem* exciting people on the planet, but they make adulthood look like it’s not all tears and pain. Perhaps that’s one reason why I never felt the need to go overboard at université: I knew that there would be more waiting afterwards. Add this to the list of issues that I would like to investigate further dès mon retour (upon my return) to Host Country. Orthopedics appointment this week!
*Hat tip to Pretty Ricky and Aaliyah!